Sunday, January 15, 2012

Babies, boobies, and burlesque!

   On Friday the 13th, we celebrated my husband's birthday. We met a bunch of our wonderful friends at an Indian restaurant and then walked over to see our first ever burlesque show.  My mother came to our house to babysit our 3 boys, and we brought our seven month old daughter with us. Elowyn is a wonderful baby, and kept herself content, being passed around by our friends, and banging a spoon on the table, during our two hour wait for food.  A couple of times during the night, I nursed her, and she eventually fell asleep to the tunes of a big band show, while we watched some great burlesque.
The next day one of our best friend's came over and told me something hilarious.  Her boyfriend, at some point in the night had caught sight of my boob while I nursed my daughter.  "I'm usually really good about things like that, but I couldn't look away!"  Poor guy was like a deer caught in headlights and clearly felt guilty or uncomfortable enough that he confessed to his girlfriend.  We all got a big kick out of this.  Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I have been nursing cumulatively for SIX AND A HALF years out of the last 9!! That's crazy, and I'll probably nurse Elowyn another 18 months after this.  Now, I've tried to be discreet.  I've used blankets, nursing covers, layered clothes, etc, but my kids won't stand for it.  They rip those covers right off, to stare lovingly up at my face.  It's only a matter of simple statistics that if you spend enough time with me, between curious babies who pop their heads back to investigate a noise, or squirmy babies who wriggle faster than I can might catch sight of some flesh.  I've come to terms with it.  I've embraced it with humor, because I know my boobs have a higher calling, and my modesty is insignificant by comparison.  First, let me say "I'm sorry," I know biologic processes can be scary to some people.  Maybe, I should send him a card...

breastfeeding modesty public babies burlesque Just Peachy, Darling

I also can't wrap my head around the fact that seeing my boob, performing it's engineered purpose, was so disturbing...yet we went to a BURLESQUE show!  Boobies were everywhere! Then it dawned on me.  Nipples are offensive.  Glue on some sequined, tasseled pasties, and it's classy, hell it's art.  Now ladies, please don't glue on pasties and then try to nurse! Serious choking hazard!  Better yet, adhere a tasteful pasty to the back of baby's head.  This is stylish and refined. Forget barrettes, how lovely would this be?
                         There, problem solved.  You're welcome America!

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